Introducing...Anne (always an aside)

Hi all,
Thanks for being here. You have been so much support for me since we started this week. I am a night eater (too busy during the day - barely have time - lunch is usually somewhere between 2 and 2:30!). Coming home and being able to read and post has helped me stay on track for 3 days now (yes, 3 days a damn proud of it!)

Anyway, when I two....just kidding! Let's start 5 years ago. I weighed in at just over 250 lbs (Did I mention I was 4'11" tall?) I was 45 years old w/ diet controlled (hahahahahahaha - that makes me laugh every time) diabetes, sleep apnea that had me waking gasping for air 10-12 times a night, and having had arthroscopic surgery to repair damage in both knees. I had gastric bypass surgery. If anyone tells you it's the easy way, threaten to eat them b/c they are probably some stick thin waif! After much trial and error (my body had drastically changed - eg. I'm now lactose intolerant and wasn't before and mashed potatoes don't stay in my stomach.) I learned what I can eat. My diet for the rest of my life has to contain a lot of calcium and protein b/c my body will not store them like most people's. I have to limit raw veggies and fruit, but cooked are OK. (Just mulitply what fruit does to you by 10 for me!) I was under dr care for a year and followed dr orders to the letter - both diet and exercise wise. I lost about 90 lbs. (See, even w/ gastric bypass my body didn't want to give it up!), and I looked damn good if I say so! My hubby of 28 years couldn't keep his hands off me and men noticed me again! (They opened doors for me instead of letting them slam...you know what I'm talking about...)

After I had mainatined that loss for 2 years, I still had so much lose skin (Ever notice that about 1/2 way through the Biggest Loser, the guys no longer remove their shirts? That's why...) I took the plunge and had my breats reduced/lifted (my DDs at 250 lbs were 38 longs at 165 lbs!) and had the flap of skin between my belly button and pubic area removed (I refuse to use the medical word for it b/c it's so disgusting!) The surgery was extremely painful and expensive but I helped me regain my life back. I don't regret it for a minute. I lost another 10 lbs when they removed all that skin!

Then 2 years ago I changed where I work. Instead of a 10 min drive, I now have a 45-55 minute drive. I tried in the beginning working out at work before going home. Then I joined a gym close by. Then I went back to school for my leadership degree. OK, I know they are all excuses, but the result was I have gained almost 40 pounds in 2 years! (I am the white Oprah and I didn't have thyroid problems to help me!) I also replaced much of the food I had been eating w/ adult beverages...I was living large b/c I was no longer large...

I spent most of Nov and Dec being depressed, ashamed, and angry...How could I let this happen? What do people who knew me before think of me now? What good it that leaderhsiup degree? If I can't control whether I put a damn candy bar in my mouth how can I possibly lead others???

Anyway, I'm now off my pitty-pot. I am a perfectionist w/ all-or-nothing tendencies, so I've set my self three goals that are moderate and obtainable:
1. Write down EVERY single thing I put in my mouth
2. Shoot for a max of 1500 cal a day (as much as I've been eating, I'll still lose weight!)
3. Exercise 4 times a week for 1/2 each time.

I'll try this for a a couple of weeks and see what direction I want to take. Leigh mentioned weighing every day. That is something I'd like to work on not doing in the future (Sometimes I'll weigh 2 times in one day!) I also have 50th b'day coming up...maybe a goal for that...not sure yet.

Anyway, I know this was lengthy, but this has been building for a while now. Once I started I just kept pouring!! I promise future postings will not be as long or random!

Nothing tastes as good as being the best I can be!
Anne